Plan A
December 29, 2009
At a doctor’s visit today my dating life was a topic of conversation. Not so strange maybe, but the outcome was unexpected.
My primary care physician, as usual, asked some questions. Am I seeing anyone? One man for 6 months now. He is 50, divorced, has children and doesn’t want more. Me? 44, divorced for an entire year, content to remain childless. I stick to Plan A, which hasn’t changed since I was in my teens and 20s. As usual, the plan is to not get pregnant. Some things change as I get older, but some things do remain the same.
Birth control method? Tracking my fertility by watching mucus–sounds gross but it’s easy–and knowing when I ovulate. Occasional naked sex when it’s safe, but definitely using condoms or other equally entertaining activities when I’m fertile. Am I OK with this, with the risk? Well, yes. It’s been my method for 15 years. And it has some benefits.
My lover is older and has problems maintaining an erection. Is this normal for middle-aged men? I don’t know, I’ve never fucked one regularly before. It hasn’t been a problem so far, other than presenting some condom difficulties. But we’re monogamous, and there are so many ways to have fun, so many options to make him cum, why limit ourselves to latex-sheathed sex?
And it’s simple. Just remember: No Naked Fucking When Fertile.
The only doubts in my mind about the mucus method are two: first, it’s too freakin’ easy. Nothing to prescribe, nothing to insert, no side effects. Why don’t more people do this? Maybe it’s the fact that there’s nothing to purchase, nothing to sell. I mean really, even the stirrups on the exam table in the doctor’s office carry drug company advertisements for birth control pills (as if THAT’S a positive association for a product!). Free birth control seems so, well, anti-capitalist. Is it so radical to know when you’re fertile? Do we really trust a company to control our fertility more than we trust ourselves?
Which brings up the second doubt: do I trust myself to understand my fertility? If it doesn’t work, if my earth-mother, radical feminist tendencies prove wrong, the result is pregnancy. While not a complete disaster in my situation, it could never be considered a desired outcome.
Happily, after asking her questions and listening to my explanations, my physician offered to prescribe a backup, a failsafe, an alternative. I was completely unprepared for it. I had just forgot that it was an option. But now, after hearing about it in the news, listening to people imagine its misuse, and supporting it from afar, I have it. Take the first pill within 72 hours after the “event,” then take the second pill 12 hours later. That’s it.
My Plan A remains solidly in place. I check mucus daily, and my dedication to the NNFWF method grows every bloody month. But it is helpful to know, reassuring in fact, to have a real, workable, actual, Plan B (generic of course).
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